deep talk: Restless12/08/2015 12:49:00 am
I can't get to sleep
Mainly because worries have been over-crowding my head lately.
I honestly felt like this year could have been better for me... but I guess that's not the case.
It's kind of difficult to keep myself happy at times. Especially when there's this on-going anxiety around people. After nights of restlessness, I discovered that I feel very worried of what others think of me, whether I'm doing the right thing... maybe just slowly becoming a people-pleaser.
There's already so much for me to take in, i.e studying Architecture takes up my life.. yet it just so happens that a lot of drama happens upon me.
I honestly feel so tired.
It's exhausting to be Lauren.
I really really want to get out of this gloomy phase of my life.
Wished it never ever happened.
I've played my part. I've tried. Really have.. tried to make things better.
I feel like I've forgotten the little joys in my life, those precious night-ins where I just literally do nothing and watch movies with my flatmate, or just receiving a cute text message from mum.
I should really treasure these moments. It's these little things make a difference to my mood.
Why restrain yourself with all this worries + sadness?
Why cry yourself to sleep just because one doesn't appreciate you, doesn't make an effort to speak? One that easily throws away your existence so recklessly- without saying anything?
Positive note to self: Imagine yourself within 5 years time. Just remember all that is happening now... and you'll look back laughing at it. It'll be nothing.
Hopefully time will heal.